


New Feelings and New Beginnings

by leiasfate



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alien Culture, Alien Mythology/Religion, F/M, Kryptonian Culture & Customs, Light Angst, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Nova Cycle, Season 2, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 11:44:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17202842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiasfate/pseuds/leiasfate
Summary: The holidays had always been a time of reminiscing for Kara, but she busies herself by trying to suprise Mon-El with the wonders of New Year’s Eve. He is the one who ends up surprising her, though.





	New Feelings and New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this guessing that 2x10 happens after New Year’s. Kara and Mon-El got together on Valentine’s Day, just a few weeks (or days?) after Mon-El confessed he remembered the kiss, so that’s what I’m working with.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was no secret that Kara adored Christmas, but she also had a special spot in her heart for New Year’s Eve.

During her first year on Earth, Eliza had given her a masterclass over the planet’s festivities and customs. She’d told her Christmas and New Year’s Eve were her favorite holidays, and she looked so happy as she talked about it, that even though Kara was still grieving her family, she actually started looking forward to it. Seeing Eliza’s excitement finally made her feel something outside of her sadness.

When New Year’s Eve came, though, the eagerness faded away. She couldn’t help but remember Krypton’s own version of the holiday. It was a rebirth of sorts, where they thanked Rao for everything he’d given them during the Cycle, and their sins were forgiven to start the new one. Her grandmother, Nyssa, always took her to pick out the offerings for Rao, telling her stories about her and her grandfather’s adventures. Kara was amazed at how many things they had endured, and still stayed strong and in love. She used to fantasize about having a relationship like theirs.  
  
As she remembered the good times with her family, tears had inevitably rolled down her cheeks. Eliza had noticed, and sat beside her on the couch. Her adopted mother told her that it was okay to miss them, to grieve, but that her parents wouldn’t be happy if she wasn’t at least trying to get better. That she had to be strong, and remember them in a new light, in a light of hope. That was how they would want her to remember them.  
  
Kara, with the course of time, started doing so. She honored her family’s memory by living, enjoying things. It sure lifted the weight of her shoulders, and every year, on New Year’s Eve, she looked out at the stars, praying to Rao to keep her people safe, wherever they were. She knew He would listen.  
  
In present time, she was excited to show Mon-El her favorite holiday. He had quite enjoyed Christmas, so she was planning to exceed his expectations for New Year’s. It was a way to distract herself, too, because there were many things keeping her up at night. Like the fact that it had been a little more a month since he’d kissed her.  
  
Oh, that kiss— it was the first one she actually felt. She didn’t just feel a tingling sensation, like she’d felt when she kissed humans. No, it was so different. So very different. She felt his heavenly lips pressing against hers, giving her warmth. She felt his lips capturing her upper lip. She felt the loss of warmth as he pulled away.  
She didn’t know why he’d kissed her, but for God’s sake, that kiss had turned her entire world upside down. But he didn’t remember, and she didn’t say anything about it either. She wasn’t so sure of her feelings.  
  
Also, she missed Krypton. A lot. The grief that she’d buried deep inside had come back to the surface, because Mon-El reminded her of home. His planet had almost the same traditions as hers (except for the hedonistic ones), so his presence reminded her of what they’d both lost. They’d lost everything, and yet they both were there, still standing.  
  
She busied herself with decorating her loft for the party. She was so serious about it that she told everyone to refrain from coming to her apartment before the party, unless it was an emergency. Which was why she felt surprised when someone knocked on her door.  
  
She opened it, brows furrowing when she saw who was on the other side. “Mon-El?”  
  
He waved at her. “Hi.”  
  
“Come in.” She stepped aside to let him in, and he hesitantly entered her apartment.  
  
He looked around in amazement. “Wow, this is... festive.”  
  
“I told you it would be great.” She stepped closer to where he was standing. “I wish it had been a surprise, though.”  
  
“Sorry.” Her heart raced when she saw his blush. “I just needed to tell you something. Or rather, confess.”  
  
“What is it?” Suddenly, she was nervous, hands shaking. Only he could make her feel that way. It made her want to not see him ever again. And at the same time it made her want to be close to him every time she could.  
  
“I don’t want to... have secrets between us, since today is the last day of the year. You know that in our planets it means we start anew.” Mon-El swallowed visibly. “I remember kissing you.”  
  
Had the world stopped? Or was it just her? Kara couldn’t think clearly, she couldn’t even breathe. He remembered. He’d lied to her. She fidgeted with her glasses, with no idea how to react.  
  
“Do you wanna sit? I feel like we’re gonna sit.”  
  
“S-Sure. Y-Yeah.”  
  
“That’s a good idea.”  
  
Her body commanded itself to sit by its own accord, because her mind was still far gone. She was barely able to process what was happening.  
  
Mon-El took a deep breath. “I remember. I was sick and alone, and you were leaning over me. And you must’ve been sad, or something, because your eyes were insanely blue. I mean, they always are, but they were like... like comets. And I’d never seen anyone so stunning, and I kissed you. And it was okay that I was...” He scratched his chin. “It was okay that I was going to die because I’d gotten to kiss you.”  
  
Kara had no idea what to say. For the first time in a long time, she was speechless. Hadn’t she been hoping he would remember? Why was she frozen? Her questions were answered easily by her mind: she was scared. She’d never felt a connection to someone as strong as the one she felt towards Mon-El, and it scared her. It scared her that her feelings were too much.  
  
He looked at her, waiting for a reaction, but she was stunned into shock. She felt angry at herself for not being able to even form a coherent thought. Every relationship she’d ever had in the past had gone wrong. She didn’t want that to happen between her and Mon-El, who was already a very important person in her life. She couldn’t afford to lose him too.  
  
“Mon-El, I—“  
  
“Comets.” He looked into her eyes with a resigned smile. “I’m not here to change your mind. I get that you don’t care about me.”  
  
“I do care about you.” Of course she did. How could he believe otherwise?  
  
“But not in the same way. That’s good, that’s fine, that’s okay. Just keep working with me. I’ve been honest about this so let’s just... we can ignore it, right? We can let it go. Just keep being my friend. Let’s celebrate the new year.”  
  
Kara wanted to scream, to tell him that she did care about him in the same way. That she had feelings for him too. But there was something that kept her mouth shut.  
  
“Y-Yeah.” Her voice was cracking. “Thank you for being honest.”  
  
She looked down at his lips, trying to make a choice. She wanted to kiss him senseless, but she also didn’t want anything to go wrong between them. She could let it go, like he asked her to. She didn’t want to let it go. His lips looked so inviting.  
  
“Okay.” He snapped her out of it. “Good talk.”  
  
He held up his hand for a high five, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from kissing him. After the high five, he moved so quickly to the door that she didn’t even have a chance to react.  
  
Mon-El looked back at her, eyes misty. Her heart dropped at the sight. “See you tonight, Kara.”  
  
He closed the door, leaving her paralyzed, and with only one thing on her mind:  
  
She broke his heart.  
  


* * *

 

 

It was a miracle that she’d even finished setting up the party. Mon-El’s confession had been on the forefront of her mind through the whole day. She saw his face when he left, she knew he was hurting, and she didn’t say anything. His heart broke while she tried to save her own. She didn’t know if she’d made the right choice by not saying anything.  
  
She missed her mother. Alura would’ve given her good advice, without pushing her. Her father would’ve gotten protective over her having a boyfriend, just like grandpa Seg. Grandma Nyssa would’ve told her to ignore them both and follow her feelings. Uncle Jor-El would’ve told her to approach everything with logic.  
  
Kara wished she could be with them. She wished they were by her side. But they weren’t, no matter how hard she prayed and wished for it. They were gone.  
  
Her sorrow was interrupted by her guests arriving. Right, she had to forget those thoughts. She couldn’t ruin the night for everyone else. Alex asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t budge. She told her everything was fine, and Alex let her off the hook, promising that they would talk about it the next day.  
As the minutes passed by, Mon-El hadn’t arrived yet. She was worried that he didn’t want to be her friend anymore. That was exactly what she feared would happen if she talked to him about the kiss. Maybe if she’d told him that she felt the same way but wanted to keep being his friend, he wouldn’t have left. He would’ve understood, instead of thinking she just rejected him.  
  
“Winn.” She sat beside him. “Have you seen Mon-El? Is he coming?”  
  
“Of course he’s coming!” Winn answered her too enthusiastically. “I saw him getting ready earlier. And damn, does he look handsome.”  
  
Her cheeks turned red. “You sure? You aren’t hiding something from me?”  
  
“‘Course not!”  
  
“Hm.” She still didn’t believe him, but decided not to push it. She would find out anyway.  
  
A knock on the door made her jump, and she moved faster than anyone to open it. The person standing before her took away all the air she had in her body.  
  
Handsome was a big understatement. Mon-El certainly looked dashing. He was wearing a white button-up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a gold bracelet on each wrist. His pants were black, with minor gold details. He was making it very hard for her to bury her feelings.  
  
“M-Mon-El! Hi.”  
  
“Hey.” He smiled bashfully. “C-Can I come in?”  
  
“Oh! Of course!” She moved aside in embarrassment.  
  
He entered the apartment, waving at everyone with a big smile on his face. At least it didn’t seem like he was sad, thankfully. Winn quickly pulled him into a conversation with Alex, while Eliza and J’onn motioned for her to join them.  
She often looked up at him, and when he caught her staring, he averted his eyes. Maybe she’d really messed up, but he looked amazing. One could’ve said he looked... Kryptonian, with those clothes.  
  
It was only twenty minutes until midnight when Mon-El excused himself from the conversation and walked towards her.  
  
“Kara, can I talk to you for a sec?”  
  
“Uh, sure.” Her nervousness made her hands sweat.  
  
“Come with me.” Mon-El opened the door and led her out, making his way to the stairs that led to the rooftop.  
  
“Wait, Mon-El, what are we doing? I don’t wanna miss the countdown to midnight.”  
  
“You won’t miss it, I promise.” He let her walk in first.  
  
The rooftop had been decorated with fairy lights, with two cushions on the floor. Two wish lanterns were placed beside them.  
  
Kara gasped. “What’s this?”  
  
Mon-El scratched the back of his neck. “I know you miss Krypton and, since it’s New Year’s Eve, I figured we could commemorate the Nova Cycle.”  
  
Oh, Rao. She thought she’d never hear those words again. Her eyes watered as she looked up to him, and it all clicked. Why he had confessed his feelings. Why he hadn’t arrived. Why he was wearing white and gold.  
  
He’d done it all for _her_ _._ To make her feel at home by celebrating the Nova Cycle.  
  
He misinterpreted her misty eyes. “If you don’t want to, then it’s—“  
  
“No!” She interrupted him. “Thank you so much for doing this, Mon-El.”  
  
His face lit up with a grin. “It’s nothing, Kara. I’d do anything for you. I got these wish lanterns because I couldn’t find the rocks we used as offerings for Rao, sorry about that.”  
  
“Don’t worry, this is perfect.” She took his hand in hers, not missing his sharp inhale.  
  
“Do you want me to begin?” With her nod, he continued. “Today marks the beginning of our Nova Cycle, a celebration of birth and rebirth. A celebration of Rao. We begin anew, absolved of our sins from the prior Cycle. It is a day of faith and justice. Let us pray to Rao.”  
  
Mon-El sank down to his knees on the cushion, never letting go of her hand. She did the same, closing her eyes along with him.  
  
“Do you want to do the prayer, Kara?” His voice was soft, like silk.  
  
It had been so long since that prayer had rolled out of her tongue. It felt so distant, far out of her reach. But she still remembered, she would never forget.  
  
“Holy Rao, out of the endless void you kindled the sun. By your strength, you gave us life. For your glory, we offer our death. Today’s the day we escape the darkness of sin and renew our faith by your light once more. Today is the day we live again. Today is Nova. Praise Rao.”  
  
“Praise Rao.”  
  
Kara opened her eyes to find Mon-El staring at her with a teary smile. She couldn’t help but marvel at how wonderful he had been. He’d given her something she would always cherish.  
  
He helped her up, grabbing the two lanterns. “Now we should release them and wish for something. Rao will listen.”  
  
She nodded, thinking about what to wish for. She wished for her family to be under Rao’s protection in heaven, but she wanted to wish for another thing. Mon-El’s safety.  
  
He released his lantern, letting out a sigh. She released it too, watching how beautiful they looked in the night sky.  
  
There was no way she could let go of her feelings for him, not after what he’d just done. He was amazing. And he liked her, just as much as she liked him. She would be a fool to not take the chance. He was worth the shot.  
  
“Thank you, Mon-El. This was beautiful.” She glanced down at her watch. Only one minute until midnight. “There’s not enough words to tell you how happy this made me.”  
  
“There’s no need to thank me. I’ll always be here whenever you want to talk about Krypton.” He heard the countdown start below, eyes widening. “Oh, sorry! We should head back down so you don’t miss it all.”  
  
_“9, 8, 7!”_  
  
“Wait.” She squeezed his hand. “We should add an Earth tradition to our Nova Cycle celebration.”  
  
_“5, 4, 3!”_  
  
“Which one?”  
  
_“2, 1! Happy New Year!”_  
  
Kara cupped his face with her hands, pulling him into a fiery kiss. He let out a low gasp, kissing her back with everything he had. She poured her feelings into it, hoping he would notice how much she cared about him. Oh, his lips were just as warm as she remembered, and even better. There was no doubt or hesitation on the kiss. It was full of affection. She wanted to stay like that forever.  
  
Mon-El’s fingers caressed her hair as they parted to breathe, foreheads touching. “Wow.”  
  
She laughed breathlessly. “Yeah. I do care about you, in the same way you care about me.”  
  
“I can see that now. Does this mean we’re together?”  
  
“I would certainly hope so.”  
  
He gave her another short kiss. “Happy Nova Cycle, Kara.”  
  
“Happy Nova Cycle, _shovuh_.”


End file.
